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14. The Dude and Tense Thinking That Slips Under the Radar...


As part of my job, I offer a training course and my students ask me a lot of questions, which is great because by the end of the training, I know that they understand the subject matter.  And today, I answered a question, and when I clicked reply, I thought, "I like doing this. I like helping people in this way and I should extend this to other areas of my business."

Can you see the tension here?


You might spot the tension quite easily because I've written this down, but my point is, when you are living it, in a busy day, doing your normal stuff, it's easy for these things to slip under the radar and take effect.


The tension here is "I should extend this to other areas of my business."


The word "should" has resistance in it because it is out of balance with what is. And that means, I am not abiding with life.


So, of course, I want to help people in my work but there are certain areas of my job where I feel exploited at times, and it is this particular area that I was thinking about when the word "should" appeared in my train of thought.

Shoulds and Coulds - No Thanks


Should.  Should do this.  Shouldn't do that.  Could, would, must, have to.  Oh dear, does that sound like a limber mind to you?


Now, I'm not telling you that there's something wrong with the old "should" appearing in my thinking.  I'm saying that to not see it for what it is and then act upon it is where the problem lies.


I was basically telling myself "hey man, overlook it when you feel you are being taken advantage of", and instead "bring the same energy to that side of the business that I bring to my training courses. I will experience the same happiness, won't I?"


But that's just thought.


Man, it would have been so easy to have rolled with this idea but if I am being exploited, does trying to convince myself that by laying down to be further used and abused it will lead to happiness if I simply bring the same energy to it?


Just a thought, huh? 


Just a little thought that could easily have been the seed of further tension in my life, and tension is resistance.

Resistance, What am I Blathering About Here?


In Dudeism, we often regard uptight thinking as that which has clear tension behind it; the square community barking their opinions, overachievers being closed to ideas, and so on.  But actually, the reason for this post is to show you how subtle thoughts, that might even disguise themselves as being quite dude-like, can tie us up in a sea of heaviness before we even realise it.


In the above example, a student asked a question, and that is something I have little control over (unless I end my course, but I created this to give me more time to slack off regular work).  Let's be hippie for a moment and say, this came from the universe.


Right.  And I answered her questions and unless she replies to it, that's the deal signed and sealed.  Done.


But that wasn't all, was it?  I noticed how I liked to do that and my mind makes a connection here, that the universe sent me something in the shape of a question, I replied to it, and realised that I enjoyed doing that BUT... I then instantly thought of the areas of my business that I do not enjoy.  I thought about those people who often abuse my good nature and willingness to help, and in this instance, I thought, I "should" feel good about that universal energy too.


Should.  A dangerous word that easily goes over our head, under the radar and before you know it, your toe is crossing the line and life begins to lose some of its smoothness.

Walking Our Talk


And Dudeism is about smoothness.  And my dear Dudiest family, if like me, you are a Dudeist Priest, then what we say and how we walk our talk can take the edge off a harsh reality, and be a beacon of hope for others (maybe that goes too far, but you get my meaning, huh?).


So, Dudes, let's round this up.  I'm being a little abused in one part of my business by some serious greedheads who are disguising their need to achieve on some kind of let's all love each other shit.  And that doesn't sit comfortably in the hermitage of my heart.  And yeh man, you might be saying, there's your lack of abidance, go figure.  And well, I abide with it in the moment, but I know I am being taken advantage of a little.  So, there is resistance here.  But to have the thought that I should not resist it, and I should be okay with this... well, that's a bigger resistance.  That's just thought slipping in there.  Thought of how I should be.


The take-home here, as the Dudely Buddha once prattled, "look to the root Dudes".  Look to the root.  What's sliding under your radar and taking you in a direction you don't really want to go? 


Make the words should, could, must do, and have to, your bells of mindfulness, so when you catch yourself saying them, you can be aware of how they might lead to a lane of pain.  Then shrug it off - just a thought Dude, nothing more than that.


Peace y'all.


The Reverend Thomo


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